


Wouldn't It Be Nice

by SilenceIsGolden15



Series: Voltron Oneshots [33]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Foster Kid Keith (Voltron), Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Intervention, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Post-Voltron Lion Swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceIsGolden15/pseuds/SilenceIsGolden15
Summary: Shiro is missing, Keith is crashing, Lance is chomping at the bit-- and all the others can do is sit back and watch the train wreck.





	Wouldn't It Be Nice

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been bothered by that comment Lance made in Season 3, about Keith not mentioning that Shiro wanted him to be the leader until he was gone, I thought it was really callous considering that Shiro was Keith's only family and he'd just vanished for the second freaking time, so I wrote a fic about it. Enjoy.

“You want the job so badly, you can have it.”

God, how did everything get so screwed up? Shiro was gone. They hadn’t been able to form Voltron in weeks. Keith had been running himself ragged, tearing himself apart trying to find him, and here was Lance accusing him of using it to… what? Advance his position? As if. 

Out of the corner of his eye Keith could see Allura’s mouth opening, about to cut in, but Lance spoke first.

“Good, I’ll take it. I’ll be a  _ great  _ Black Paladin.”

Keith had long since lost his patience. He’d lost it before at the dinner and he was about to do it again, but he just couldn’t help it. Sure the others hadn’t known Shiro for as long as he had, didn’t care as deeply as he did, but he’d thought they’d cared a little. But they were all just… moving on, and Keith couldn’t. The frustration made his tongue sharp.

“Why do you care so much about being the leader anyway?” He snapped, fists still clenched at his sides where he’d thrown them. “You’re already one of only five people who can defend the universe. That’s not special enough for you?”

Lance scowled at him and hunched his shoulders. The others were shooting them concerned looks, probably debating whether or not they should try and prevent the fight that was bubbling up, but for now none of them said a word. 

“Screw off, Keith. Yeah I like a little recognition every once in awhile, is that a crime?”

“It is when you throw Shiro away to get it!”

Allura’s expression turned sad and she stepped forward, already raising a hand to probably put on Keith’s shoulder, but Lance was on his feet and Keith had really managed to piss him off now. He wasn’t sorry. 

“You don’t get it!” He spat in Keith’s direction. The two of them were still separated by fifteen feet of space and the lounge sofa, but even from here Keith could feel the ire rolling off the other boy. He was probably exuding the same vibes. “Do you have any idea what it was like growing up with my family? I have four older siblings! Nothing I did was ever special!”

Keith’s jaw flat out dropped. Lance couldn’t be serious with this, could he? Was he really bringing up his  _ family _ right now? His nails began to bite into his palms through his gloves, and Lance wasn’t done. 

“Every time I did something it didn’t matter, because Veronica had just gotten accepted into the Garrison or Marco needed help moving or Rachel had broken up with her boyfriend and there was never any time to notice me or what I did. So forgive me if I want to be recognized every once in a while.”

“Lance, buddy--” Hunk stood from his spot on the couch and approached Lance, who was breathing heavily after his outburst. Lance didn’t shove him away, but he didn’t really react to his attempts at comfort either. 

And Keith? Keith could feel flames at the back of his throat. 

If he didn’t let them out, he would melt. 

“Paladins, please, we need to--”

_ “At least you have a family!” _

Silence fell over them like a shroud, everyone’s eyes widening in tandem and zeroing in on him. He hated it-- his throat was tightening and his eyes burned and he just wanted to run away-- but as much as he choked on them the words refused to be kept down. 

“At-- at least you have a mother, and a father, and siblings who love you.” His voice was cracking and splintering on every other word. Was he even understandable anymore? “You know what I had? The sixth foster family in a year with a drunken father and a mother who wouldn’t let me eat if I was a minute late and an older son who tried to drown me in the pool.”

Lance’s furious expression dropped. Pidge was staring, a hand clapped over her mouth, and Hunk and the Alteans were all looking at him with so much pity in their eyes. It grated like sandpaper, seeing them all clustered there in front of him. 

Shiro’s absence was a skewer. If Shiro was there he wouldn’t have done this-- this standoff. He would’ve come to his side, laid a hand on his shoulder and murmured something soothing. But Shiro wasn’t here and now Keith was alone, looking in on a group he didn’t belong to. The loner, like Pidge had said just a few minutes before. Before Lance and Keith had gone at each other with teeth bared, ready to rip each other to pieces.

“So be grateful, Lance, that you have someone to go home to when all of this is over. Shiro’s all I have and now he’s gone,  _ again,  _ and if we ever get back to Earth all of you are going to run back to your families and your homes and I’ll go back to being alone. Take the Black Lion if you want, be the Black Paladin, I don’t care, but do us all a favor and quit acting like you’re alone because you  _ never have been.” _

Tears were running down his face. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if his outburst made all of them hate him even more, if it made Allura throw him off the team. He just couldn’t take it anymore. He was hurting, damnit, and by now he should’ve been used to just shutting up and dealing with it but it never got any easier to pretend it didn’t burn him up when no one cared. 

For a moment everything was quiet as Keith’s chest heaved. Hunk, of all people, was the first to speak up. 

“Guys it… it kinda sounds like you want the same thing.”

Keith scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. Hunk wasn’t right, not entirely, Keith didn’t need compliments and praise and validation the way Lance did. All he wanted was someone who gave a shit-- or at least pretended to. 

“It doesn’t matter. If you guys wanna hold auditions or whatever for the Black Lion then--”

“Wait, no, we’re not done talking about this,” Pidge squeaked indignantly, sliding off the couch. “You can’t just drop a bombshell like that and then just move on.”

The laugh that left him was bitter. “I thought that was what we did. We move on.”

She frowned. “That’s different and you know it.”

Keith didn’t have the energy for any response other than a roll of his eyes. Anger was exhausting. Thankfully Pidge didn’t retaliate to the rude gesture, though the harsh twist of her mouth said that she wanted to. 

“Keith, we didn’t know you felt that way. I thought you just preferred your alone time.”

“Because I’m the loner, right?”

Pidge flinched and Allura shot him a look. “She’s trying to help, don’t be rude.”

“No Allura, he’s right. There’s been a lot of misunderstandings.”

He reached up to rub at his eyes, trying to ease the way they burned. He was so, so tired. And after this he had to go out and look for Shiro again. 

“We should probably try to talk this out,” said Hunk, prompting Keith to look back at him. Lance had slumped down onto the couch, head in his hands, and Hunk was standing beside him with a supporting hand on his shoulder. Something in him ached at the sight. 

“I don’t see what there is to discuss,” Keith said gruffly. He was practically beating back his emotions with a stick, trying to get them back in the steel box he normally locked them in that only had enough space for anger to escape. “I’m being emo again. What else is new?”

Hunk’s expression took on a tint of remorse. But behind that was determination, and his jaw set.

“Alright, that’s it. Everybody sit down. We’re having a therapy circle.” He shot a look at the Alteans. “You guys too. On the couch.”

Keith balked, even as everyone else settled down on the half moon sofa. The only place clear enough for him would be right in the middle. Hell no. 

“You guys said you wanted to find a new Black Paladin, so let’s just get it over with, we don’t have to--”

Lance looked up and Keith stopped talking, purely out of surprise of his expression. He looked almost as tired as Keith felt. 

“Don’t be an idiot,” he said softly. “Just sit down.”

With no other option available to him, he made his way over to the couch and sat, feeling like he was on death row. Thankfully Hunk was there to lead this whole deal, or they would’ve just sat there in awkward silence for the rest of eternity. 

“So, Keith, you felt like you couldn’t confide in anyone but Shiro.” He waited until Keith nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Let’s break that down. What about me and Pidge? Why can’t you talk to us?”

Keith folded his arms and shrank back in his seat. He didn’t want to do this-- talk about his feelings or whatever while everyone stared at him with those expectant eyes, but Hunk looked a lot like his Lion at the moment. Immovable.

“You’re Lance’s friends,” he wound up muttering to his knees. “Your minds were already made up about me.”

Hunk’s eyebrow twitched and Pidge frowned, but for now they didn’t say anything about it. For now, as usual, they moved on.

“What about Allura and Coran?”

He glanced at Allura out of the corner of his eye and watched as the realization dawned on her. It hadn’t been that long since she’d frozen him out, after all, and even though they’d made up he could still remember that look on her face whenever she deigned to cast her gaze in his direction. 

Hunk seemed to realize too and didn’t pursue that line of questioning, and he didn’t ask why he couldn’t talk to Lance. That was obvious. 

“Lance, why do you dislike Keith so much?” Hunk’s tone was different now; the voice of someone who already knew the reasons but was asking for everyone else’s benefit. Lance huffed, eyes fixed solidly on the floor. 

“Back at the Garrison, after you left,” Keith was surprised Lance was addressing him directly, even if he wouldn’t look up, “I finally made fighter class but nobody seemed to care. They were constantly comparing me to you. And before you left… I don’t know. You just seemed so untouchable. You never talked to anybody but Shiro. I thought you were arrogant.”

Keith shrank. Everyone but Lance was looking at him now, expecting him to answer, but what was he supposed to say? Sorry for being arrogant even though I really didn't mean to be? Sorry I don’t know how to talk to people? He didn’t know what they wanted.

Of all people, it was Coran who understood, and moved from his spot next to Allura to sit next to him instead.

“It’s alright, lad,” he said in the softest voice he’d ever heard come from him, “Don’t worry about trying to find the right answer. Just tell us what you’re thinking.”

He gulped and gathered up a fistful of his jacket sleeve. 

“I didn’t… mean to be arrogant,” he began, barely audible. “I just didn’t know how to talk to people. And a lot of the other cadets resented me for being better and would pick fights and I wasn’t sure who was going to do it next. It was safer to keep my distance.”

“I get that,” said Pidge, making everyone’s eyes jump to her in surprise. She met their gazes without flinching. “Everyone in my school thought I was weird for being so into science and hacking. I didn’t have a lot of friends, and then obviously at the Garrison I couldn’t or I could get caught. So yeah, I get it.”

“Why did you leave?”

Keith’s eyes leapt back to Lance. He was still facing the floor, but he leaned his cheek on one fist, more contemplative than upset it seemed. His other hand drummed a pattern against his knee.

“Iverson always said it was just a discipline issue. He never explained anything else.”

Keith gave a tight shrug that turned into hunching his shoulders around his ears. Being kicked out of the Garrison was still a sore spot for him. It never got a chance to heal, especially not with Lance calling him dropout all the time.

“I didn’t choose to leave.” The words came out in a murmur. “They made me because I wouldn’t stop asking about Shiro and talking about Kerberos. Even Adam wanted me to leave it alone, but I couldn’t.”

Hunk frowned. “So they just kicked you out for asking too many questions?”

Keith bobbed his head. “I already had so many fights and shit on my record, both from the Garrison and from before, that without Shiro there to vouch for me it was easy to just…” The sentence trailed off and he had to swallow hard before he could continue. “Iverson said that it didn’t matter how good I was. A good pilot is worthless if he can’t follow orders.”

“That’s not true.” Allura’s eyes burned sapphire flames. “One of the first things my father taught me was that a good soldier should never follow blindly, but only if they believe in their commander and what they’re standing for. People following mindlessly is how Zarkon managed to conquer so much of the universe.”

No one knew what to say to that. For a long time they just sat there, all lost in their own thoughts.

Really this hadn’t fixed much. Shiro was still gone and they still needed a Black Paladin and he still felt like he was being eaten alive by the fear in his chest. But… maybe it could be better. Maybe Lance wouldn’t be so antagonistic. Maybe he could get closer to Hunk and Pidge. Maybe he could put aside his fear of further rejection and confide in Allura, someone he actually had a surprising amount in common with. 

They were all things he’d imagined before but hadn’t dared to hope for. He still wasn’t sure if he really did or not. 

Still. The thought was nice. 

 


End file.
